Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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