My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
