Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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