I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
