Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
