my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
