and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
