PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
