i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
