i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
