just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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