When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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