Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Someone shattered a urinal.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
