I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
