remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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