Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
