even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
