My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
