i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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