i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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