can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
