The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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