it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
