yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She just used a chaser for red wine.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
