I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
