That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Pants are for mortals
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
