THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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