in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
