HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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