ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
