Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
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