...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
