Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
