Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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