The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
