Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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