You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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