I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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