playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
