did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
