I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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