Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
is it fun? or sober?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
