I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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