drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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