Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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