She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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