So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
