you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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