walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
