she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
