Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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