Sponge bath it is.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
