we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
